How to solve a problem in Bengaluru

by September 11, 2015 Governance
A satiric note about solving Bengaluru's problems that also highlights the causes of problems remaining as they are for ages.

Bangalore has a lot of problems. Here is a  guide to solve Bangalore’s problem in 20 short steps.

  1. Cut some trees.

  2. Form a committee with a catchy name – B-SOMETHING.

  3. Involve famous citizens – KMS, NM, NN etc.

  4. Don’t analyse the problem. Analysis is for losers.

  5. Cut some more trees.

  6. Come up with an absurd suggestion which will cost several thousand crores.

  7. Cut some more trees.

  8. Lament the loss of green cover in Bangalore.

  9. Assure everyone that for every tree you cut, you will plant 10 more.

  10. Hand out lucrative contracts to your friends for planting `saplings’.

  11. Start your absurd project.

  12. Make absolutely no alternative arrangements.

  13. Ensure that the situation gets very bad—and since no proper alternatives have been made—the ad hoc alternatives that arise will lead to new problems that have to be `fixed’.

  14. Take several years.

  15. Cut some more trees.

  16. Eventually do an ugly, shoddy job which needs constant attention.

  17. Blame all problems in Bangalore on ‘Naarth Indians’ or ‘IT peeples’.

  18. Ensure that when the job is finally finished people will be so relieved that the inconvenience is over, that they don’t realise that the problem has not been solved. If earlier there was a delay of three minutes, now there is five; but five is better than the 20 that it took during the interim four years…

  19. Cut some more trees for good measure.

  20. Dont worry, people will ‘adjusht’.

If all else fails, rename the city to Bengaluru. All of Bangalore’s problems have ceased to exist!

Related Articles

21st century marvels in Bangalore: Don’t miss visiting them!
How house hunting made us ‘hookers’!
House hunting in Bengaluru : A big welcome by the city!

Sections:

About Bavandar Gupha

Read more by Bavandar Gupha

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Similar Story

Confusing forms, tight deadlines: Inside the flawed SIR process

by December 1, 2025 Governance
Enumeration deadline extended to Dec 11th; as Chennai voters and BLOs race to wrap up, we give you a lowdown on the process.

In Chennai’s Perumbakkam resettlement site, residents working as domestic workers leave home at 9 am and return only after 6 pm. For them, the Election Commission of India’s (ECI) Special Intensive Revision (SIR) seems almost impossible to navigate. A community worker from the area observes that in earlier voter roll verifications, households received a simple part-number booklet. Now, Booth Level Officers (BLOs) set up camps instead of going door-to-door, asking residents to collect the forms themselves. The new form asks for additional details such as parents’ voter IDs, which many residents do not know, she adds. With low literacy levels,…

Continue reading

Similar Story

Accessibility in crisis: Climate disasters expose neglect of persons with disabilities

by November 17, 2025 Governance
Heatwaves and floods in Chennai show how disaster systems and policies fail persons with disabilities, stressing the need for true inclusion.

On a normal day, fatigue is a persistent challenge for Smitha Sadasivan, Senior Adviser at the Disability Rights India Foundation and a person living with Multiple Sclerosis. Yet, it is manageable with rest periods, nutritional supplements, hydration, and some mild activity. But heatwaves worsen her symptoms. "During heatwaves, none of these measures help. Only limited nutrition and hydration offer some relief,” says Smitha. Extreme climate events, such as heatwaves, floods, or cyclones, pose problems for everyone. Yet for people with disabilities, the challenges are far greater, as daily barriers to safety and mobility become worse during such crises. Smitha explains…

Continue reading