How to solve a problem in Bengaluru

A satiric note about solving Bengaluru's problems that also highlights the causes of problems remaining as they are for ages.

Bangalore has a lot of problems. Here is a  guide to solve Bangalore’s problem in 20 short steps.

  1. Cut some trees.

  2. Form a committee with a catchy name – B-SOMETHING.

  3. Involve famous citizens – KMS, NM, NN etc.

  4. Don’t analyse the problem. Analysis is for losers.

  5. Cut some more trees.

  6. Come up with an absurd suggestion which will cost several thousand crores.

  7. Cut some more trees.

  8. Lament the loss of green cover in Bangalore.

  9. Assure everyone that for every tree you cut, you will plant 10 more.

  10. Hand out lucrative contracts to your friends for planting `saplings’.

  11. Start your absurd project.

  12. Make absolutely no alternative arrangements.

  13. Ensure that the situation gets very bad—and since no proper alternatives have been made—the ad hoc alternatives that arise will lead to new problems that have to be `fixed’.

  14. Take several years.

  15. Cut some more trees.

  16. Eventually do an ugly, shoddy job which needs constant attention.

  17. Blame all problems in Bangalore on ‘Naarth Indians’ or ‘IT peeples’.

  18. Ensure that when the job is finally finished people will be so relieved that the inconvenience is over, that they don’t realise that the problem has not been solved. If earlier there was a delay of three minutes, now there is five; but five is better than the 20 that it took during the interim four years…

  19. Cut some more trees for good measure.

  20. Dont worry, people will ‘adjusht’.

If all else fails, rename the city to Bengaluru. All of Bangalore’s problems have ceased to exist!

Related Articles

21st century marvels in Bangalore: Don’t miss visiting them!
How house hunting made us ‘hookers’!
House hunting in Bengaluru : A big welcome by the city!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Similar Story

Lok Sabha elections 2024: North East Delhi — Know your constituency and candidates

In the high profile contest for North East Delhi, BJP's star MP Manoj Tiwari takes on the firebrand Kanhaiya Kumar (INC). Who are the others?

Table of contentsAbout the constituencyAt a glanceMap of the constituencyFind your polling boothPast election resultsIncumbent MP : Manoj Kumar TiwariOnline presenceCriminal casesPositions heldAssets and LiabilitiesPerformance in ParliamentMPLAD funds utilisationCandidates contesting in 2024Key candidates in the newsIssues of the constituencyAlso read About the constituency Well known for its high migrant labour population from the states of Haryana, Uttar Pradesh and Bihar, North East Delhi constituency comprises the following areas: Burari, Timarpur, Karawal Nagar, Ghonda, Babarpur, Gokalpur (SC), Seemapuri (SC), Seelampur, Rohtas Nagar and Mustafabad. This constituency has the highest average population density of 36,155 persons per square km — the highest…

Similar Story

Lok Sabha elections 2024: Chandni Chowk — Know your constituency and candidates

Delhi-based businessman, Praveen Khandelwal of the BJP takes on Congress' Jai Prakash Agarwal. Know more about them and other contenders.

Table of contentsAbout the constituencyMap of the Constituency Find your polling boothIncumbent MP: Harsh Vardhan, BJPOnline PresenceCriminal CasesPositions HeldPerformance in ParliamentMPLAD fundsCandidates contesting in 2024Key Candidates in the newsIssues of the constituencyAlso read About the constituency  Chandni Chowk Lok Sabha constituency is one of the seven Lok Sabha constituencies in the Indian National Capital Territory of Delhi. This constituency came into existence in 1956. It is the smallest constituency of Lok Sabha in terms of area. Since the delimitation of parliamentary constituencies in 2008, it is made up of ten assembly constituencies, which are Adarsh Nagar, Shalimar Bagh, Shakur Basti, Tri…