Column: Being The Ugly Indian

  I had seen V & X for the first time on Thursday, the day before their ‘hit’. I was walking down Church Street after a coffee at Koshy’s and was heading towards Blossom Books, when I saw these two guys photographing this ugly garbage pile outside the Times of India building. One of them was literally standing in the pile and holding up a shopping bag he had extricated from the dump, and the other was photographing it.  I did look at them but did not stop – assuming they were from the media; the city’s garbage woes are…

The best insights on ugly Indian behaviour come from sanitation workers – they are at the receiving end every day of their working lives. X had just been to Singapore. He was appalled at how filthy the Indian neighbourhood – Little India – was, somehow proving to him that even in a dictatorial enforcement-driven system like Singapore, the ugly Indian shows his true colours. He distinctly recalled seeing large dumpsters at street corners, even in Little India. Maybe he was missing something here – Bangalore wanted to be as clean as Singapore, but did not want to use dumpsters at…

Bengaluru is very quiet on a Sunday morning. The city centre area wakes up slowly, recovering from a busy Saturday night – even Ramanna opens his tea shop at eight. The mood is relaxed, and everyone is looking forward to a day of rest and relaxation. Many of the security guards, immigrants from the eastern reaches of India, normally work 2 shifts – or 16 hours on the trot, so Sunday morning is a big release. V and X shoot the breeze with this small group, whom they have now got to know fairly well. Hindi is the common language…

  V and X are not the only ones trying to fix Bangalore’s filth problem. Unknown to them, there are several citizens out there, trying – in their own small way – to fix the mess on the streets outside their home or office. We are not talking here about NGOs or civil society organisations, of which Bangalore has plenty, but regular citizens. There is P, a software engineer, working on weekends at defeating an ugly garbage dump right in front of a huge technology park near the Koramangala Forum Mall in which his MNC employer occupies two large buildings.…

To understand what unexpected thing V and X did next, and why they did it, it is essential to know what they had done the previous day, at the same garbage dump. They had done a quick session of garbage forensics – or dump fingerprinting! If you saw the recent movie – Zero Dark Thirty – on the capture of Osama Bin Laden in Pakistan, it had one crucial garbage-related clue that revealed Osama’s hideout in the compound at Abbottabad, a stone’s throw away from the Pakistani military academy.  It was the “absence of garbage” emanating from this particular compound…

630 am, the sun rises, and suddenly there is activity. A gaunt man in a white shirt and dhoti emerges from a dilapidated colonial bungalow and sets up a tea stall outside the Coconut Grove restaurant, and soon there is a swarm of customers huddled together in the morning cold. Security guards, street sweepers, sanitation workers, newspaper delivery men suddenly materialize. V and X desperately need a chai. They blend in, making small talk with this motley group – there is a certain warmth among the customers of a roadside tea-stall in the morning quiet, and V and X were…

V and X had done a simple exercise the previous week – something done by thousands of Bangaloreans everyday. They took a walk from Cauvery Emporium on the Brigade Road – MG Road junction to the famous Koshy’s cafe, along the length of Church Street. This is probably one of the most well-trodden paths of Bangalore’s entertainment, food, book and beer seekers, and takes in all the well-known landmarks – Cauvery Handicrafts, the Levi’s store, the Magazines store, Nando’s Chicken, Matteo Cafféa, several icecream and dessert parlours, the popular Queen’s eatery, Shrungar Shopping Centre, the venerable Indian Coffee House, the…

Under the light of a pen-torch, they peer closely at the photograph of the same spot they took that morning. Ugh! This is the corner of Church Street and Rest House Road, right outside the entrance to the offices of Wipro & Times of India. Church Street is Bengaluru’s most happening street, packed with pubs, restaurants, cafes and bookstores, and always full of people having a good time. If you had to pick one street that symbolized Bangalore, it would have to be Church Street on a weekend. But there is a dark side to Church Street - ugly spots…

Chapter 2: The Hit! Friday, 1145pm. Two shadowy figures walk furtively along Bangalore’s fabled  Mahatma Gandhi Road – the pubs are closing, the autorickshaw drivers are haggling with late night customers, the night shift call centre employees are going in to work, as the heart of the city of 9 million people is winding down after a busy Friday night. They rush past the popular 13th Floor lounge bar (where they earlier had dinner and plotted the night’s ‘hit’), past the paanwala and KFC outlet, and pause briefly.  A 5-floor building looms above them – it houses the offices of…

  Are you an ugly Indian? Why is India so filthy? Why do we keep our homes clean and our streets dirty? Why can’t we do anything about this pathetic lack of public hygiene? Who is to blame for our lack of civic sense? Is it our corrupt politicians, our dysfunctional governments, or ‘the system’ ? Or is it us, the people? Is it time to admit that many of India’s problems are because we are all ugly Indians – that we, the people, are as much part of the problem – if not, the problem. It’s about our rooted…