Pavement perorations — Part 3: rating the footpath issues

So, this is the third in the Pavement series. Even if I say so myself, I think I am making progress.

But there is pressure to change the format every time to keep my interest going, and that is kind of hard. 

Anyway, this time I decided to do a different kind of quiz. This is somewhat like an exam. I have to give points, not answers. The maximum points I can give is ten and the minimum zero.

No comprendo? Ok, read on.

Pic: Suchitra Deep

There are four categories. 

  1. Rules regarding pavements.
  2. Uses of pavements.
  3. Materials used for making pavements.
  4. Mixed bag – this is a very difficult round because you never know what kind of question will be asked.

There are five statements in each category and I have to give points for each statement.  In every category, there is a buzzer round for the last statement.  If I get the buzzer round, I get ten bonus points.

So, here are the questions for the first category:

A rule forbidding people from dumping garbage on pavements

1.5

A rule forbidding urination on pavements

1 (Strictly speaking we need walls.)

A rule forbidding encroachment on pavements

A rule allowing encroachment on pavements

10

A rule forbidding people from walking on pavements

10!

(I got that buzzer round!  Yay – ten bonus points!!)

Now, on to the second category:

Pavements used as ‘goshalas’

7

Pavements used for dance classes

6

Pavements used for hosting all night ‘jagarans’ for a month’s duration (if possible in March when the exams are on)

9

Pavements used for driving tutorials

5 (Might have to reduce the height of some pavements for this.  Slight logistical problem.)

Pavements used for perambulation

0!

(I don’t want to toot my horn, but I just got that buzzer round too!)

Now, for the third category – Materials used for making pavements:

Level, well finished concrete slabs with perforations for water to seep into the drains below

0

Level, well finished paver blocks

1

Level, well finished stone slabs

1

Expensive tiles laid badly, not level, with many tiles missing

9

Uneven blocks of stone with sharp edges, laid with large gaps in between, and preferably shaking too

10!

OK! The last and final category which is definitely going to be the clinching round:

Tolled pavements

0 (No one, but no one would pay – everyone walks on the road)

Study trips to Thailand, South Africa, Greenland, and Brazil to understand how they use pavements in those countries (First stop Phuket)

10

Sale of foot wide strips of pavement (It’s expensive real estate, man!!)

8.5

Tax on entertainment provided by people falling down and cracking their knees on the pavement

7

Relaying of pavements every two weeks

10!

(Phew! I got that one too! I did it again! I can’t believe it!)

Look, it only goes to show how well one can do provided one is persistent. I humbly urge you all to join me in this endeavor.

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