Connected Lives

A friend and I are at a local café, with her daughter (nearly 4) and my son (5). Now this café is one of those small, cosy places, where you're encouraged to sit close to your love and gaze into his or her eyes, and occasionally bite into your blueberry muffin. Or sip your cappucino. So yes, space is rather at a premium, inside. Naturally, it's also the kind of place hungry, active children love to go to. And are terrible to manage once within. Because either they burn themselves on the tall cauldrons of scalding soups (helpfully placed bang…

Spot the fairer of the two? A woman walks into a local health/beauty store. She has some beauty essentials to buy — lipstick, moisturiser, some talc. And a particular brand she likes for face powder because it claims to follow Ayurvedic principles in preparing it's formulations. So, she goes to the counter for that brand. Surprise, surprise, that face powder is not available anymore. Instead, the brand has, in similar packaging, launched a 'lightening' or brightening or fairness-enhancing variant. “What happened to the 'non-lightening' variety,” she asks the sales girl who is, as usual, hovering so close that if the woman…

Just right for warm, cinnamony conversation! Pic courtesy: Avinash and Radhika Had a cinnamon roll with my mid-morning chai today. What made it extra special, other than the fact that it tasted pretty awesome, is that a friend made it. The baker in question is Radhika. She and her husband Avinash are two of our closest friends. My husband, little fellow and I go see them or have a meal with them, whenever we can. We know they are there for us, and we hope they feel the same. When my husband went out of town last week, he asked…

Dad-at-work: Murugan with daughter Sanjana There's a fruitseller who sets up his cart on the road in front of my apartment building. Murugan, for that is his name, is always busy. If he is not working, he is a hands-on dad to his two children--Santosh and Sanjana. Murugan, you see, does with ease, something that most of us struggle to do--manage work and his children. And he performs his childcare duties, alongside work. When his wife Lakshmi goes for her 10 am to 2 pm shift as a domestic help at a nearby house, she leaves their little girl with…

Never take your child's safety for granted. You never know what can happen. Scene 1: A city school A security guard is playfully jostling with a cherubic little pre-schooler. The child is waiting beside the guard because his 'auto uncle' is late to pick him up. In the course of play, the guard kisses the little boy, tickles him, hugs him. The boy squeals with laughter. Scene 2: A dance class It's a childrens' dance class. Parents/guardians come and drop off their wards at the door. The adults do not bother to go in or check if the dance teacher…

This New Year, I'm determined to work at being a better person and parent, to be calmer, happier, healthier. Apparently, I'm not the only one resolving to do this. Psychologists say many of us make similar promises to ourselves. A psychology professor writing in Psychology Today, an online journal, notes that the most popular resolutions are: Work balance (less work) Lower alcohol consumption Eat less fast food Pay off credit debt Learning something (Guitar, French) Be more patient Be happy (accomplish small things) Read more books Exercise Lose weight Academic-related goals (good grades, study more, graduate, get into a master’s…

It's been two months now since my husband and I started using jaggery (bella in Kannada) in our tea and coffee. This traditional sweetener, known by different terms in different languages, from gud in many parts of North India to chakkara or sarkkara in Malayalam and vellam in Tamil, lends a subtle and deeply flavourful taste to everyday beverages. Coffee sweetened with bella for instance, has a lovely aroma and tastes wonderful, especially in this chilly weather! Many friends of ours have also made the switch. Of course, some of them only use organic powdered jaggery (available in speciality stores…

Last week, on a social networking site, I put up a post about my cook and her barely-18 year-old daughter. The girl had just completed a sponsored and very expensive beauticians' course at a top city beauty training institute. I had hoped she would start working and earn a steady income, thereby helping her hardworking mother who is a cook in two households. Instead, her mother got her married. It is not too difficult to predict that the girl will soon become a young mother herself. If she is not allowed to use her training, why she may even end…

Can we really change our colour-conscious culture? I have a good friend Monisha, an ardent gardener. She grows and sells ornamental plants so she is out in the sun a lot. Which means her fair skin gets a bronzed glow quite often. She doesn't mind that at all. What irks her, however, is the reaction she gets from friends and extended family. “When they see me, they invariably exclaim, 'Oh, you've become so tanned!' I love darker skin tones and I really don't care how tanned I get. So why do other people,” she wonders. Why indeed? There's this remarkable…